I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
