Just fell off a train. Bad.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
