Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
