Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
