Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
