yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
They have beer where we have blood.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
