I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He passed out mid-signature
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
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