you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
