It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
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I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
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Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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