Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
