I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
