Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
