I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Alive.
So much puke
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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