I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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