I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
