drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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