careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
