My brain says no but my pants say off.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
