i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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