I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
