is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Randomize
