there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
