glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
