i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
