just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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