At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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