IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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