Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
