Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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