We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
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yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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