i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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