Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
