last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
