moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
