11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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