I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize