Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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