Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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