We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
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And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
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We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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