Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You made out with two different species that night
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Someone came in the potted fern
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
