so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
