Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
