is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
