ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
