Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
