He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
