What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
