It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize