Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
