they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
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I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
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How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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