On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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