Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
