I just saw a hot homeless man
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
