I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize