And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
