Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
