I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
