He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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