I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
