the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
