just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
